Hyper-Parenting and Custom Kids
June 19th, 2006
Chapter Six of Hyper-Parenting: Are You Hurting Your Child by Trying Too Hard? by Alvin Rosenfeld, MD, and Nicole Wise is called “Custom Kids.”
I have nothing to add regarding this chapter as most of the points were touched upon eariler, so I will just give a couple of quotes that illustrate and leave it at that.
“By urging our children to fulfill every iota of their potential, as viewed from where we stand, we parents end up devoting an inordinate amount of attention to all the things that are wrong with them.”
“Remember, childhood is the preparation, not a performance. Our children’s lives belong to them We need to stop trying to live their lives for them.”
“Stage parents” stereotypes come to mind when I consider these quotes. I hope to spend more time trying to know what my kids are like rather than telling them who they should be.
Entry Filed under: Parenting
2 Comments Add your own
1. Gem | June 21st, 2006 at 9:45 pm
I struggle with this a lot — I have talents that were never really developed because we lived in a very rural area where there wasn’t any dance or artistic expression much at all. I did sing and act in school, and pursued that for a while, but I always felt like it wasn’t a “real” dream, that it wasn’t realistic to follow that road. So now, I want my children to know they can do anything they want to, but without pushing them or –horrors!– trying to live my unfulfilled dreams through them. I have a daughter who is a dancer. I mean she just IS. She dances with every fiber of her being (as well as sings and writes her own music at age 6). I am so tempted to put her in only the most serious of dance classes, but in this area I think I’m actually bless to not be able to afford the ‘best’ — that way I’m not pushing her too hard or expecting more than she has to give. She is learning discipline and form, and yet has fun and enjoys herself. We’ll see what comes next.
2.
moonshadows | June 21st, 2006 at 10:15 pm
It’s difficult to know. On one hand, I don’t want my kids to feel that I deprived them of growing into themselves by not providing the training they want. On the other hand, I feel I have the responsibility to make sure they grow as balanced as possible.
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