Hyper-Parenting: Is Winning Everything?

June 20th, 2006

Chapter Seven of Hyper-Parenting: Are You Hurting Your Child by Trying Too Hard? by Alvin Rosenfeld, MD, and Nicole Wise is called “Is Winning Everything?”

My answer is no. And I want my children to know that. While I am still working on (and will always be amending) my definition of success, it does not include being a winner in the traditional sense. Success for me includes balance, happiness, serving others, being reflective, learning, …

I’m not raising superstars. I’m not willing to give up my life completely in order to raise a superstar. I don’t judge my own success on whether or not my child is a “Superstar”. Does that make me a bad parent? No, it absolutely does not.

I question myself, what do I want my children to get out of life and how can I help them to get there while retaining my notion of self? To be clear, some things that I do are are not my first choice on what I’d do if I were without children, and I do not completely ignore the presence of my chilren. However, I will try not to be pushed, pulled or guilted to the point where I feel I am giving up who I am to help them be who they are. In order for my kids to thrive, I need to stay intact.

What do you think entails success for you and your children?

Entry Filed under: Parenting

2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. salamandercreek  |  June 20th, 2006 at 5:51 pm

    I vaguely remember a quote from a Leo Buscaglia book that said something like this: “Why did you have to spend my life proving who you are?” I read that quote years before my children were born and it has haunted me (or my version of it has) ever since…in a good way. As far as self-care, I am working on that one, as well. It is vital. Thanks Moonshadows.:-)

  • 2. moonshadows  |  June 21st, 2006 at 10:16 pm

    That’s a great quote! Thanks for sharing it.

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